Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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