Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
