Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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