We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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