He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
