Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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