Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
