TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
