we're blogging at a bar
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
