Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
