ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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