At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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