i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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