I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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