The beer is more important than you right now.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize