i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
