the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
