I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
