Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
