I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
