He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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