9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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