Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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