It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Less talking, more tequila
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
