R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
