the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
