i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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