I need help removing her.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
