I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
