I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
