The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
