i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
