Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
