I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
