last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
