Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
