Whod you bang
nut hugger
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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