I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
