Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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