At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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