His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
