Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
