Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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