New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
