its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
