On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
