Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
