I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
