You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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