I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Sext me about skeletons
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
