idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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