you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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