honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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