Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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