then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
