i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
