god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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