The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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