have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
