My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
