Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
