i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
