just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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