He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
