So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
