I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
