and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
