her vagine was all disorganized.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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