awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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